Stop performing and start practicing.

This is a core belief of Growth Mindset – the belief that your traits and talents are not fixed & innate, but that you are capable of growing and improving in a certain skillset.

I talk with my clients about this pretty frequently. (This is my absolute favorite book on the topic)

You get into health & fitness with (mostly) short-term goals in mind, right?
And after you’ve been working on those awhile, you start to realize that it’s not a short term thing that you perform for 21 days, get the goods, and then peace-out.

But here’s the thing- It’s a process.
Usually a pretty freaking long one.
Literally a life-long one.

Take marriage, for example. Say you get married to your high school sweetheart who you’ve been with for ten years. You have a fantastic relationship, both of you feel good, and you’re excited about finally tying the knot. But right after the wedding, you decide that since you reached that “goal,” you just won’t put in effort anymore.

That marriage? Yeah, it’s going to fail.

I mean, it’ll either fail or you’ll both be unhappy because one (or both of you) stopped putting in any effort.

Things don’t just take effort to get to, but they take effort to maintain & build & continue growing.

So the hard truth about nutrition & fitness is that it’s a life-long commitment and journey. You don’t get to ever “quit” nutrition just because you finally lose the 5 pounds you wanted to lose if you go back to the ways you used to eat. You don’t get to just stop worrying about fitness once you finally run a 5k and expect to be able to run that well forever if you stop running. But we think about it as if that’s how it works when it doesn’t.

But honestly, that should be an entirely separate post.

Back to my point about practicing and back to the marriage analogy.

Let’s follow the stereotypical life path: you get married, and a few years later, you have a kid.

And around the time your child is turning one, they start trying to walk. The first time they walk, they fall over before their first full step. They get up and try two or three more times, but keep falling. What’s your reaction?
“Wow, what a loser. They’re never going to be able to walk.”
“I guess they’re just not a walker.”
“They can’t walk already? Guess they should just give up.”

No. That’s not what you’re thinking. (At least I hope not….jerk.)

You don’t expect your kid, who’s still learning, to be able to walk right away.
You know it’s going to take PRACTICE.
They’re going to have to walk & fall & walk & fall A LOT before they get it right.
And they’re going to have to repeat that process A LOT before they can do it naturally & easily.

You don’t expect them to perform and do it right the first time. You allow them to practice because it’s a new skill.

The thing is, too many of us are constantly trying to preform rather than practice, especially when it comes to new things- in fitness, in our career, in relationships- and beating ourselves up because we’re never “good enough.”

When we’re putting effort towards ANYTHING new, we must know that there’s a learning curve to it and that it’s going to take practice before we can perform. You’re going to suck at first. You’re going to be bad a things when you start. And if you expect otherwise, you’re going to hate it.

Performance is meant to be about skill and efficiency, because it’s about the final product. And you’re expecting your practice to look like the final product. Performances are meant to be judged.

I hear you. You’re thinking, “But…this thing isn’t new to me anymore. I should be better at it by now.”

Interesting. It still sounds like you’re trying to perform. Why? Because there’s clear judgement involved.

And here’s the thing:
If we’re constantly perform, we exhaust ourselves, burn ourselves out, and usually get trapped into thinking that if we’re not there yet, we never will be.

Because when we give ourselves permission to PRACTICE, It automatically gives us permission to admit we’re not there yet. And THAT is what allows us to IMPROVE & grow, because we understand that everything is a process that takes screwing up & learning & time & failure & repeated, consistent effort.

Practice is where you get to try things, see if they work, see how you can do better…without so much pressure. If you’re trying to perform, you don’t have the room to try anything new or improve those skills.

To put it simply:

👉🏽Performing puts us in the corner and asks us to do it right, right away…or don’t do it at all.

👉🏽Practicing invites us into the ring to step up to a challenge and constantly grow as we do so.

Are you ready to stop the quick fixes, the beating yourself up, the pressure to perform?
Are you ready to fall in love with the practice, the process, the life-long growth?

I know I am.